Global Warming Effects Worse than Thought

John Schmidt

3/6/07

Who would believe that Global Warming is affecting other planets?

Recent research on subjects as diverse as the simultaneous shrinking of the polar caps on both Earth and Mars, to the changes in the Sun’s magnetic fields have conclusively proved that mankind’s alteration of the carbon cycle on Earth is having an impact far beyond our humble planet.

For many years, the government and most reputable scientists have dismissed Global Warming as bad science. Now the proof is in. Earth’s ice caps are melting and we are in imminent danger of destroying our planet. Finally most of those stubborn opponents who resisted the incessant media Global Warming propaganda have been silenced. Years of advocacy documentaries on the History Channel and almost every other media, including our children’s classrooms - and research reports from agencies paid to report what they were told to conclude have had the desired effect: the public has finally been swayed to believe what they have been told to believe.

Now we are beginning to see that the situation is worse than even alarmists have conceived.

NewsMax recently printed an article “Sun Responsible for Global Warming” (March 5, 2005) in which it was revealed that “simultaneous warming on Earth and Mars suggests that our planet changes have a natural – and not a human-induced ‘ cause.”

This article cites proof that Global Warming is happening elsewhere in the Solar System, but cleverly points the blame away from humans. Of course, it simply can’t be true that humans are not to blame. Didn’t the U.N. recently announce that global warming is leading inexorably to global catastrophe? Didn’t AlGore just win the "best documentary" Oscar for his disaster film "An Inconvenient Truth." Hasn’t he proved that global warming (“climate change”) is caused by the evil activities of mankind, in particular, the actions of greedy American businessmen who don’t care about our Planet?

What is really amazing about the misbegotten conclusions of the NewsMax article is that it actually proves that mankind’s CO2 emissions are having far-reaching effects even on other planets. This is a fact that was not understood before, but clearly calls for even more regulation of the evil Capitalist system that is wrecking our environment – even our Solar System.

We humans carry such power and influence within our grasp that we can even change the Sun’s magnetic field! Clearly, we can be either the Scourge of the Universe or it’s Savior! All we have to do is make up our minds and we can make anything happen. We are gods walking on Earth!

Such power cannot be left in the hands of everyday Capitalists and businessmen. It must be concentrated safely in the hands of noble and selfless politicians like AlGore, who never made a capitalist dollar in his life.

He is pure because he has never sullied his hands by engaging in the dirty business of Free Enterprise Capitalism, never earning a single dollar in such a morally polluted way. He has fed exclusively at the public trough since he entered public life! That fact alone shows that he is eminently qualified to be our leader – he has no constituency among the evil Capitalists who are destroying our universe. Therefore, he can act from purely altruistic motives and would never stoop to lie or connive to promote himself. We are so lucky to have such people as AlGore, John Kerry and Hillary Clinton in our pantheon of political life!

We must immediately elect AlGore or some other selfless politician of like purity who has been warning us about our evil American system for years. Then we must make sure that the whole world is brought under one political system so this global disaster can be averted by decisive action by those who only have our best interests at heart. This evil Capitalist system of Free Enterprise must never again be allowed to threaten our very existence. Who knows? We may discover that our runaway carbon emissions are also endangering the Milky Way Galaxy!

The sad truth is that some people actually believe this stuff.